!!!...Non-Sense Bhagat...!!!

"Recently, I saw the recently released movie, Cocktail." 

That's the first line of Chetan Bhagat's "Recently Written, which I read recently" article. (Home truths on career wives - Beware, it's nothing but blabbering of Urban Cliches). Personally, I liked only Five Point Someone out of all his written novels(?). So I will not comment anything on grammar used in above sentence, and actually, I don't want to drag the intention of this post in wrong direction. Also I am 100% sure that many News-Media Channels will start "Roti Debate" on their prime-time shows. I just got to read this article and as I am a bit less busy today, so trying to put my own thinking on "Woman Empowerment" over here.

I totally agree that a couple feels proud of each other if the life-partner is successful in his or her career. I am not talking about only Husbands or only Wives. Even this is not limited only up to being a CEO, COO, CFO or all such C-Class or any such good job in that manner. This applies to all couples in our Indian Society, from a farmer to a worker and a beggar too. But on the other hand, it is disturbing to read that a woman making rotis and looking after family and home is almost described as "Bechari". It is not. There is nothing wrong in handling household or being a housewife as long as both of the partners are happy.

Before I go ahead, let me narrow down the class of people for expressing my thoughts from here onward  This is the Indian Lower Middle Class (ILMC), Indian Middle Class (IMC), or Indian Upper Middle Class (IUMC). Wow, these abbreviations sounds like some political party, emerged out of Anna Andolan. For poor class, does anyone really care? For elite class, do we need to care?

I think the need of the hour is to manage career as well as family as per priority and convenience. It's both's responsibility to make journey of life smoother. Imagine two different cycles in front of you. The first cycle have both of the wheels of equal size, with two pedals, one in front and one at rear. The second cycle have front wheel larger than rear and with one pedals in front. Which cycle will be more comfortable to ride on? So, it's totally up to the husband and wife to decide how they want to lead their life.

I do cook food for my wife (not always, but I do). I will prefer taking leave from my office or go early at home when she needs me. And I also appreciate that my wife is a working woman. And if a woman is happy being house wife, nothing is wrong in that. But that should not make her lazy enough to give up all her aspirations over the time. Career is not only about earning money. Getting engaged in activities like social work or self-interest activities, also keeps the woman active and encouraged.

Excess of anything is BAD. Whether it is on the guy's part, that he wants his wife to be at home and just keep cooking food and looking after kids, parents and house, or if a woman/man is so career oriented that they neglect their family/kids. Balance in everything is must. 

So all this non-sense I wrote above is what I want to see in IDEAL world. But that is not the case always. I have many close friends, who married to an educated girl and not allowing them to do job, because they don't want them to be independent. Also I have few friends, who dropped doing job after they got married, because of their partner's pressure or at in-laws will. And at times, I failed to explain them that, choosing a capable, independent and career-oriented partner will bring enormous benefits in their life.

Coming back to Woman Empowerment, we don't have other option. If we want to see India as first world country, we must empower woman by educating them, leaving behind our orthodox mentality to keep them ONLY in kitchen. Cooking and House-Handling is also part of life, not only job and career. And so it should be taken by both, not only wife. When I read in Bhagat's article, that they outsource their Roti-Making work, I was shocked. If you really claim to be a Youth Icon, you should better understand the meaning of being independent. By outsourcing your Roti-Making work you are not doing a social service, you are simply exploiting a poor person (and I am sure, that is again a woman). You want your wife to be a COO but someone else's wife to be a servant at your home. Social equality will come only when everyone does all the basic things of their life at their own, like cooking, washing car, cleaning house/bathrooms/toilets, ironing cloths, throwing garbage etc... 

Well, it's lunch time and I am enough done with writing this lecture. This is a never ending topic which will be carried forward by generations to come. So better I end it up. I am pretty much hungry and want to eat soft roti and spicy sabji, made by my wife at 7 in morning. That's LOVE, not a COMPULSION.

!!!...Old Memories...!!!

Not a professional phtographer, But i tried a little to get some good clicks and sharing them with you here.

Lucky - 2007

My BWB's son. (BWB.?? - Keep elaborating.) He is staying with his grand parents since he born as his parents moved to London for earning pounds for him. We had great time together where I tried to teach him lots of words in opposite in his growing stage. This is the age where you learn by others. Few of them are, if i ask him to beat some one he will kiss and if some one ask him to kiss he will beat. Isn't it great if a person is allowed to grow exactly reverse to world and see how he behaves in real world.

Padarth Chitra-2007

I remember our schoold days. In Arts' class our Art Teacher bring some Object with him and ask us to draw the same from different angle. In our gujarati it's called "Padarth Chitra". Here is a photo with such objects lying on a table of one conference hall at Hotel Raianssance. While others were busy hearing our CEO's speech, I captured my first "Padarth Chitra".

Koi Sarhad Naa Inhe Roke...!!!

"Border.?? Who cares..!!!" Doesn't this bird's eye saying it. According to me, this bird must be a clever amongst all such birds. See, the way it is observing a thin line on the wire. It came flying here, sit there and now looking at fence and observing the distance between two wires, so that it can call other's and say to them, "come with me, you will go pass through this fence.".

Mere Ghar Ki Chhat...!!!

Me and my friends had best time at the roof of my home. There is one old style wooden bad with some noice if shaken a little. We lay on it staring sky above us. And talk till late nights. During summer, if i do not feel sleepy till late, i keep staring the sky above me lying on this bed and thinking the universal question. "From where all this space came.?" How this earth found this space, not even earth but a single electron or proton. Trying to get answer of such useless question I never remember when I fell into sleep. This photo is taken from that bed.

!!!...5 Golden Rules - For Finding Your Life Partner...!!!

When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet,with a divorce rate of close to 50 percent (in USA), it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr./Ms. Right..!!!

If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: "We're in love." I believe this is the #1 mistake people make when they date. Choosing a life partner should never be based on love. Though this may sound not politically correct, there's a profound truth here. Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come.

Let me say it again:

You CANNOT build a lifetime relationship on love alone. You need a lot more.

Here are 5 questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding & keeping a life partner.

QUESTION #1: Do we share a common life purpose?

Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat & jog together? You need to share something deeper & more meaningful. You need a common life purpose. Two things can happen in a marriage. You can grow together, or you can grow apart. 50 percent of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life - bottom line - & marry someone who wants the same thing.

QUESTION #2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings & thoughts with this person?

This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship. Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust- i.e. trust that I won't get "punished" or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts & feelings. A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts & feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.

QUESTION #3: Is he/she a mensch?

A mensch is someone who is a refined & sensitive person. How can you test? Here are some suggestions. Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves? A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good & do the right thing."

So ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement.

There are essentially two types of people in the world: People who are dedicated to personal growth & people who are dedicated to seeking comfort. Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.

QUESTION #4: How does he/she treat other people?

The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure. Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves & self-absorbed? To measure this, think about the following: How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc. How do they treat parents & siblings? Do they have gratitude & appreciation? If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything, you cannot expect that they'll have gratitude for you-who can't do nearly as much for them!

Do they gossip & speak badly about others? Someone who gossips cannot be someone who loves others. You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.

QUESTION #5: Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married?

Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve" them after they're married. As a friend of mine puts it, "You can probably expect someone to change after marriage.. for the worse!" If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them. In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult & treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head & less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating, to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues.

Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself in trouble because you didn't do your homework.

Common sense in an uncommon degree is what the world calls wisdom.

Wish God Keeps These in Mind When He Prepare Pairs in Heaven - As All Says....!!!